Scumhunter

emmabutton:

scumhunter:

Been having a think about old times….

Really? See, I hated being 16. I mean, I had a good group of friends, but really only a few of them have ever stayed with me and still respect me as a friend 4 years later. I miss not having to worry about anything serious, I miss having a disposable income.

I hated my school, I hated the academic restrictions they imposed upon me. I hated wearing a suit, I hated having to conform to the utter lack of common sense and individuality the entire place possessed. I hated the bitching, I hated having friends one day and waking up the next to everyone hating you. I hated that nobody listened to the music I loved, nobody thought about the things I thought about.

But the burning passion for music I had just discovered, I still feel now. 16 taught me how to run a show, and how to do it well. Now, I have the complete freedom to live how and when I like, I have my own place, my own responsibilities, and a brand new addition to the family in the shape of a very tiny kitten.

I have a job that I love and a career that I’m good at. And maybe I have to scrape the barrel some months to stay alive; other months, I do just fine.

I’m still breaking hearts at a rate of knots but now I know that it’s not time for me to settle yet. Not like school taught me, not like all those girls in my year with kids.

I like living my life, responsibilities and all. 16 sucked. (17 was amazing. 18 and 19 were mediocre. 20? Twenty is already amazing and it’s still a month away.)

Shortened so it didnt eat my entire page, you wrote it, you know what it is.—

See, when i was 16, I had the flat, roommates weren’t too bad, i had a decent group of friends, no responsibilities, and a job sitting on the door at first jon, then your shows, and later for a little while, haleys shows [They were almighty fuckups. First time i had to threaten members of jaded by fate with violence. Not the last though. ;) ]

Then there was 17, when i got a job, and started working stupidly hard, and serious life matters like mum kicking me out every seconds.

18 was tax and voting age. Actually i loved 18, my job was easy and they wouldnt fire me no matter what i did, I partied every weekend and got royally strung out, Spent alot of time with girls without getting attached.

but now, well.. 19 and 20 have been terribly serious. I pay for everything myself, and i’m out by myself. I work all the hours under the sun, and i’m starting to be cripplingly aware of the aspergers i have.

Frankly, i think i just want to do something big thats a change of scenery, and moving down by the beach like i have just doesnt seem big enough ;) I wish i lived in london :P weirdly this is the first time we’ve properly caught up since you went to london.